I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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