My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
