i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
