6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
