Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
