I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize