I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
