I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
