You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
