Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was born a porn star she said
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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