Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
