When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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