I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
