let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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