I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
