he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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