we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
