Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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