I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
