I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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