Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
