This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the liver wants what the liver wants
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Oh god it's open bar.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
