I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
