She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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