Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
