let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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