ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
