I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
