i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
