My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
