people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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