umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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