ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Randomize
