do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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