and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
