U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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