there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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