I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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