we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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