we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
