I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I understand Curling. That high.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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