what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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