so that wasnt chicken after all
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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