And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize