xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
