I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
