at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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