You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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