It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
