I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
someone owes me an orgasm
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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