we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
