...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
