I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
