i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
