sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
