Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
