Im at strip club and am horny
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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