youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
