in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
