my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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