For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
