You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
